Doing a Boudoir Shoot for your lover? Read this first!

I know, I know - you’re thinking I’ve lost my marbles - the boudoir photographer just told me to pause before booking a boudoir shoot for my lover. Well…. yeah… kinda. You see where this is going, don’t you? Yes, you need to do it for yourself. I’m sure you’ve heard people say this before, but stay with me - I’m gonna dig into this a little deeper and, let me tell you, your partner will LOVE this!

So, the whole boudoir thing is about being sexy and looking good, right? and who better to spoil with the bounty that is yourself than your mate, right? Well, yes and no. So, you are a grown person and I think by this point in your life you get that confidence is the sexiest thing you can wear and that loving yourself is important. You probably can repeat this mantra more readily than you can actually internalize it, but we are a work in progress, no? I mean, we all want to be loved and to feel valued and appreciated, so it’s no surprise that even when we accomplish something for ourselves, we still look over our shoulders to make sure that our mom or our spouse or friend is proud of us and celebrating our successes alongside us. And that's totally normal; but there's a better way.

Now, I know you really want to do this “for them.” I know you really want to “blow their mind” with how fabulous you really are. And I know you are secretly hoping they’ll go ahead and throw you up on that pedestal that you’ve always dreamed of being. Here’s the thing, though, do you really want to base your happiness and self-worth on what another person thinks? Even if you are 100% certain they’re going to LOVE the gesture? It’s a slippery slope.

Try this on for size instead: What if you do a boudoir session for YOURSELF? What if you get your hair done for you? What if you get your makeup professionally done for you? What if you enjoy a glass of champagne and romp around a luxury hotel room in your skivvies being your sexy self and have a ball for yourself? What if you do a boudoir shoot and it makes you feel like a million bucks? Like you are worth everything? Like you are pretty damn special and you ARE royalty, whether someone places you on that pedestal or not?!

 And then you share all that with your partner.

In this manner, sharing this experience with them will be something you did for you and their response will be a celebration with you (and not a mere approval of you). They’ll celebrate all of those things you know you are. Celebrate not validate - see the difference?

On a practical level, there’s nothing you need to do differently. You still schedule your shoot, you get ridiculously excited, you have a ball, you treasure the experience forever and yes, you share your pictures and experience with your partner.

What I’m suggesting is an ever-so-slight shift in your intention. Set your intention on a path inward and you will arrive happily, safely and confidently.

Email me to schedule your boudoir shoot: hello@gracielavaldes.com and don’t miss the awesome behind the scenes video on the Boudoir page.